Saturday, March 28, 2009

Do you ever get that nagging feeling that something is just not right? Like someone is lying to you? Like everything in life added up just doesn't quite make sense? These questions may not seem related under normal circumstances, but they make sense to me right now. Maybe that's because a lot of things don't make sense right now.
I just can't wrap my head or my heart around certain things that people do. I think that I am especially sensitive to this because I spend so much of my own time worrying about how my actions will affect those around me. I make myself sick with concern over what I say and what I do, so that I will not hurt anyone's feelings. And I pretty much like that about myself.
However, there are downsides. If only I could stop caring about what other people do or say to me. If only I could stop being hurt by things that are said to other people that seem so inappropriate to me, and really have nothing to do with me, but they still hurt my heart. Sometimes I am just appalled by what some people think is okay or not. Tears fill my eyes right now, just thinking about how deeply words can hurt and how irreversible some of that damage is. I can't wait for the day, when I can wake up without this weight tugging at my heart...
"Why would he do that?" "How could he say that?" "Doesn't she get it?" "Doesn't he?"
"Don't they see what they are playing at?"
There are people's hearts and feelings involved here! People are NOT bulletproof!
I just wish more people cared more...
Wouldn't that be wonderful?

1 comment:

dad2my4 said...

Well, I know it's not the same, Heather, but you know we care and love you always, no matter what. Wish we were there or you were here.